Wikipedia:Peer review/Lincolnshire, Illinois/archive1

Lincolnshire, Illinois

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I've put in a lot of work using this guideline here. It is still a work in progress, but I'd like you guys to review it as a whole and see how it can be improved.

Thanks, Starstriker7(^{Say hi}_{or see my works}) 14:23, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

• Comment It's looking good so far. These are some suggestions for improvement:
  • The most obvious way it can be improved is adding more sections, per the list at Wikipedia:WikiProject Cities/Guideline. Sections are needed on media, government, sport, culture, and economy.
  •  Done The notable people section would be better as prose, explaining how each person is connected to the village. The section also needs to be cited.
    • Disagree I hate to say this after you've made the change, but I really preferred the notable people section as a list. Refs yes, and even notes as to their relationships to the town, but it is a "list of notable people" why disguise it in prose? maxsch (talk) 16:16, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
    • Neutral I really have no opinion on this. I want to wait for more of a discussion before I take a course of action. --Starstriker7(^{Say hi}_{or see my works}) 21:57, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
  • Each reference needs to include the author, publisher, publishing date and access date, if known.
  • Some more citations needed in the history section.
  • Wikipedia:WikiProject UK geography/How to write about settlements also has some useful tips, despite focusing on UK settlements. Epbr123 (talk) 23:43, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
• Comments by Dtbohrer
  • Agree with Epbr123, more sections like media, government, culture, sports, economy are needed.
  • More photos, the only images are a map and the photo of the high school.
• Comment by maxsch I put these comments in the article talkpage, but I see it makes sense to put it here too.
  • About the intro. It seems to place too large an emphasis on the major businesses in the area. Is Van Vlissingen so important to the town that it deserves to be in the second sentence? Maybe "Local Businesses" could be a separate sub-section down with "Education" and "Demographics". And, could the stuff in the intro about the high school go in the Education section, it reads a little too much like an advertisement. I would also like to see earlier mention of the fact that it is basically a suburb of Chicago. Generally a pretty good article though.
    •  Done "Maybe "Local Businesses" could be a separate sub-section down with "Education" and "Demographics".
    •  Done "I would also like to see earlier mention of the fact that it is basically a suburb of Chicago."
    • Question: "And, could the stuff in the intro about the high school go in the Education section, it reads a little too much like an advertisement." I deleted it because most of the information is already located in the education section itself. I thought it for the best. If there are any disagreements, please voice here; the diff link can be accessed by clicking here.
• Comment by maclean
  • There are cite templates that could be used in places: {{cite web}}.
  • Try to get a at least one citation in each paragraph to show where the information is coming from.
  • Consider looking at a local library for a book on local history.
  • Review the village's website to see what the village government does for the community, and how it sets itself up.
  • The history section could be expanded to tell how it came from its origins as a community association in 1957 to an affluent town.

Ruhrfisch comments: As requested, here are my comments. This is a good start, but needs some work to get to GA and FA.

• The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article and should be two or three paragraphs. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way. Please see WP:LEAD
• Per WP:CITE references come AFTER punctuation, and are usually at the end of a sentence or phrase. Article needs more references, for example Town of Half Day (1834–1955) has two uncited paragraphs. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.
• Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
• History has big gaps - 1730, then skips to 1834, then 1855, then post WWII, then 1955-1957. Nothing has happened in the past 51 years? ;-)
• Article has many short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that should be combined or perhaps expanded to improve flow.

Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:33, 22 August 2008 (UTC)