Talk:German torpedo boat Albatros/GA1

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 01:30, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Opening statement[edit]

I am reviewing this article as the Coordinator of WikiProject Germany and therefore have a vested interest in its advancement to Good Article status.

For replying to Reviewer comment, please use  Done,  Fixed, plus Added,  Not done,  Doing..., or minus Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow after this and my first comment (Referencing). –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:30, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Referencing[edit]

References are credible and reliable secondary sources, bar two. Wrecksite and "german-navy.de" fail WP:RS as forum-generated and self-published sources, respectively. If you cannot replace these citations (2 and 15, as of time of writing), you will unfortunately have to remove them. I recommend removing the "Commanders" section of the infobox regardless, as it makes it really long, especially in comparison to the article prose. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 01:30, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

minus Removed and thanks for reviewing this! L293D (☎ • ✎) 01:50, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Design and armament[edit]

 Done L293D (☎ • ✎) 02:22, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Derived from the World War 1-era large torpedo boat SMS H145, [...]
 Done L293D (☎ • ✎) 02:22, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • triple mounts[2] [...] 533-millimeter (21.0 in) tubes[1] Citations must be held down by punctuation per MOS:REFPUNCT.
 Done L293D (☎ • ✎) 02:22, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Construction and career[edit]

  • Named after the albatross, [...] This isn't really relevant to the prose, and is obvious from the name. I'd leave this in the infobox unless there's a really pertinent reason to include it in the prose.
  • the boat Change to "The Albatros". For future reference, avoiding calling a warship a "boat" - it's not catching prawns, it's dealing and taking steel death and shedding iron blood.
    • I figured that people might be confused by calling it a torpedo boat and then using ship all the time.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 12:32, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • 5 October 1925[4] MOS:REFPUNCT
  • who later became grand admiral and commander of the Kriegsmarine Abbreviate.
  • Separate the first paragraph here - the Albatros has finished construction and has been commissioned into the Reichsmarine.
  • In the spring of 1929 the ship took part in a fleet cruise in Spanish waters. At the exit from Wilhelmshaven Albatros collided with her sister ship Möwe. After repairs, both boats followed the fleet four days later. Their sisters Greif and Kondor also took part in this cruise. Condense; this reads kind of confusingly and could be better organized.
  • (Rear Admiral) Axe.
  • 4th Torpedo Boat Half-Flotilla (Albatros, Falke, Greif and Möwe) You establish earlier what the 4th Torpedo Boat Half-Flotilla, but only now that its made up of the Type 23s?
  • In 1932, Albatross, together with the light cruiser Königsberg and her sisters Falke, Möwe, Seeadler and Kondor, represented Germany at the celebration of the betrothal of the Swedish Crown Prince Gustav Adolf with the German princess Sibylla of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. Shorten.
All  Done L293D (☎ • ✎) 12:17, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Spanish Civil War[edit]

  • From July 1936 to October 1937, four missions of the boat were carried out in the framework of the so-called neutrality patrols in front of the Spanish coast. See above. Consider instead: From July 1936 to Ocotber 1937, Albatros carried out four patrols of neutral Spanish waters.
 Done L293D (☎ • ✎) 16:47, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • the four boats of the 2nd Flotilla See bullet 2, "Construction and career."
 Done L293D (☎ • ✎) 16:47, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • The flotilla returned to Spain for the third time in May and June 1937. May from June 1937?
 Fixed L293D (☎ • ✎) 16:47, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • On 31 May the ship did so, accompanied by the four boats of the 2nd Flotilla, targeting Republican coastal artillery, naval building and ships in the harbor, killing nineteen people. 19 civilians or 19 soldiers?
 Partly done: I don't personally have access to the cited book; I've asked Sturmvogel 66 if he has. If he doesn't, I'll ask at WT:MILHIST or WT:SHIP. For now, I've reworded it to "resulting in nineteen deaths". L293D (☎ • ✎) 16:47, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Source doesn't say.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:03, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Seeadler and Albatros participated in the bombardment. Redundant, remove (keep citation).
minus Removed L293D (☎ • ✎) 16:47, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • On 24 June the ship was replaced by Möwe [...] Which one? The last sentence named two ships.
 Fixed L293D (☎ • ✎) 16:47, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Second World War[edit]

  • During the Norwegian Campaign, [...] Provide link.
  • the boat was assigned to Group 5 under Konteradmiral Oskar Kummetz on the heavy cruiser Blücher, "the boat" - Albatros?
 Done: changed to Albatros. L293D (☎ • ✎) 21:30, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Early that afternoon, the ship was escorting the merchant ship SS Curityba while landing men on the island of Rauøy and Strelow decided to steam east of the island to avoid any further attentions from the guns on Bolærne. See "Spanish Civil War," bullet 6. I think there is at least one comma that needs to be sprinkled in here, somewhere, as well.
    • I don't understand the issue here. Strelow was earlier named as Albatros's captain--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:13, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
      • As it turns out, I had a brain stroke and wrote "comment" instead of comma." –♠Vami_IV†♠ 20:12, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
        • Is it better like this? I've replaced "and" by a semicolon. L293D (☎ • ✎) 21:30, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • The crew was rescued by the auxiliary V707 and later took over Olav Tryggvason which initially renamed as Albatros II and then Brummer. See above. Maybe: [...], initially renamed as Albatros II [...]
 Done All. Sturmvogel, the issue in point three was the unclearness over which ship "the ship" was for. L293D (☎ • ✎) 17:47, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

Expand from prose. I will review it when finished. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 16:25, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  • Expanded slightly, what else do you want to see covered?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:20, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I've added two sentences about the launching and commissioning. L293D (☎ • ✎) 17:57, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • [...] consisting of the other Type 23 torpedo boats Albatros, Falke, Greif and Möwe, [...] Remove "Albatros" here, as it is redundant, and a "the" before "other Type 23 torpedo boats."
 Partly done: I've removed Albatross but adding "the" would assume these were the only ones; Falke and Seeadler were not part of the flotilla. L293D (☎ • ✎) 18:55, 5 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

GA Progress[edit]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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